Well, Thomas, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you are the spawn of the forbidden love between Loki and Severus Snape.
The result? This dashing albeit slightly creepy, emo, ovary and life destroying victorian, swagalicious motherfucker.
Yes, you heard me right: SWAGALICIOUS. I mean, don’t tell me you can’t feel The Strut. He’s feeling handsome, he’s feeling good, he’s feeling comfortable in his own skin. Which means, we get extra cheekbones, clenching of the jaw and eyefuck. Eyefuck everywhere.
Also, I’m sure Tom begged those in charge of wardrobe and costumes to dress him in bright colours, but sadly the script demanded otherwise, and he was forced to dress in all black with a white shirt and that shiny waistcoat (that omg I’m sure I’d be able to see my reflection on that thing. Tone it the fuck down, young man).
And last but not least: A FROCK COAAAAAAAAAAAT. LET ME DIE DROWNED IN A PUDDLE OF MY OWN TEARS.
Thank you so much for all the pics you’ve been submitting of Tom in costume on the set of Crimson Peak. We already have a post on it for you to enjoy very soon. I’ll be posting it tonight.
I apologise for the lack of posts on my part lately, but I’m just about to start my finals so while there has been a lot of internal screaming for Victorian Hiddles, I haven’t had much time to express it externally.
Let’s run a quick comparison, shall we?
Image 1: Tom Hiddleston attends the 2013 Olivier Awards, in a black, single-breasted, two button, shawl lapel tuxedo. A white shirt and black bowtie complete the classic look.
Image 2: Tom Hiddleston attends the 2014 Olivier Awards, in a black, single-breasted, one button tuxedo, peak lapel tuxedo. A white shirt and black bowtie complete the classic look.
Am I the only one who feels like I’m splitting hairs? But I suppose zebras don’t really change their stripes.. And why should they, when their stripes are so charmingly dapper and debonair?
A belated introduction to an item of clothing I like to call: the shimmery black shirt of molten death.
Honestly, this is the silkiest, most indulgent fabric I have ever seen you put on your body, Thomas. You are gleaming like a fucking star - or perhaps a black hole would be more apt considering the colour, a black hole sucking all of our lives into the plunging vortex of his plunging neckline.
P.S. That is a very smug little face you have there, you smartass. Pfft. You are gorgeous. Shut up.
Feast your eyes, ladies and gentlemen, we present THE PUFFY JACKET!
I’m rather impressed by this revolutionary new addition to Mr. Hiddleston’s wardrobe. This navy blue Moncler winter coat is currently responsible for keeping our dear Hiddles warm in the Toronto weather. It can be found here, and can also be held responsible for any further destruction of ovaries you might be suffering.
I have to say I’m surprised by the fact that it’s FUCKING NAVY BLUE. I MEAN, YOU SURE TOOK A WILD RISK WITH THOSE WHITE AND RED STRIPES, NOW DIDN’T YOU???
AND I’M RATHER UPSET BY THE FACT THAT ANYBODY ELSE WOULD LOOK LIKE THE DUDE FROM THE MICHELIN GUIDES, BUT YOU? YOU LITTLE FUCKER LOOK BLOODY PERFECT AS ALWAYS.
Also, in case you guys were wondering, that is the I’m Very British Cardigan.
That moment when you realise that he has little skulls on his bow tie
I… I don’t even know what to say about this. I don’t think there is anything to be said about this. Maybe the skulls are a representation of what he’s slowly doing to his fans:
Killing them with chivalry and perfection.
Perfect face (featuring a left side close-up) Saturday Shot.
Fucking arse. I’m done with your shit, you fucker.
Those buttons need a pay rise for all of the overtime they’re doing, bloody hell. You know, no one would hold it against you if you bought your shirts just one size larger.
In other news, thank the mighty lord Zeus that you didn’t choose this as one of your go-to, wear-until-frayed items. I know your fondness for a neutral colour scheme, Thomas, but that is the dullest, drabbest grey I have ever seen in my life. I am only consoled by the fact that is has no epaulettes - I would have to jump out a window, were that the case.
Ladies and gentelmen, I’m proud to present Tom Hiddleston at Comic Con: a comparative study.
Exhibit A shows us that first time when a young and inexperienced Thomas attended the convention to be part of Marvel’s “Thor” panel. It was a time when our darling Tom didn’t know that suits were actually comprised of both a jacket AND trousers, so he just wore those kinda leathery ones instead, coupled with a tucked in t-shirt (gosh Tom, you are such a dork and I love you), and those brown boots that have certainly seen better days, but somehow still manage to look delectable covering his majestic feet.
Exhibit B, on the other hand shows a more experienced version of the same man. Already an expert in the ways of the world, Mr Hiddleston confidently attends the Comic Con in a full suit (a delicious navy blue two piece coupled with a white shirt tucked in with more buttons undone than strictly necessary - thank God for that).
Tom knows that Comic Con is a black tie event, only one step down from the Academy Awards in terms of etiquette and dress code requirements. Yet, in accordance to his bold nature, Mr Hiddleston decided to forego a tie on this occasion. The convention attendees were shocked an outraged by it (although every single female and even some males drooled at the sight of those beautiful collarbones).
I’m probably not the only one salivating at all this
porn villainous handsomeness from the newest Jaguar add.
Thomas manages to seduce us yet again in this monochromatic black and white ensemble, caressing himself and doing up the button of his jacket . And oMG IS THAT A KERCHIEF IN HIS POCKEEEET.
Oh! Look! A normal watch that is actually FREAKING SUITABLE FOR WEARING A SUIT!! FINALLY! FUCKITY FUCK I DIDN’T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE, BUT IT’S REAL!
Anyways, I couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s good to be bad.
So either let’s be bad together or stop sexing us up to the point of combustion with that stare.
Tom, are you all right? Are you alive? Are you dead? Please don’t be dead.
Why are you dressed like a priest, Thomas? Have you realised your true calling after spending so much time blessing everything and everyone?
Also why does your leg/torso ratio still look so disproportionate despite the really dark lighting towards your feet? Are you some kind of extraterrestrial composed of 94% legs, 3% cheekbones, 2% eyefuck and 1% adorable curls?
Is that why you always wear such tight shirts? To hide your condition?
Is that why you always sit like a whore? Although your legs are closed here… Something is wrong then… Please don’t be dead. There are so many more ovaries you could destroy in this lifetime.
Yes, this is indeed one of those weirdly patterned suits that tend to be waaaay too fashion forward, and that we all know you would only wear during a photo shoot and never voluntarily (other editions include this).
I know you are probably suffering due to all that non monochromatic colour and pattern combination touching you, but I mean LOOK AT ALL THAT PRETTYYYYY!!! THE KINDA PROFILE POSE WITH THE SHOULDERS AND THE HANDS IN THE POCKETS AND THE SMOULDER AND THE CHEEKBONES AND AHHHHHH LET ME CRAWL INTO A BALL AND DIE DROWNED BY MY OWN TEARS.
For fuck’s sake, Thomas. Stop with all your shit.
Also, I might at one point have said that I didn’t really like purple on a man, but sir, you exceed expectations and defy established rules constantly (not rules of fashion though, since you own only five things, so you rarely surprise us with your getups).
No one - and I repeat, no one - should be able to look that fucking sexy in that fucking potato-sack-piece-of-shit-suit and that ridiculous moustache thing, and yet…
What a marvellous accessory you have acquired, Thomas, I think you should wear that to all future red carpet events - you know, just for maximum prettiness